One Last Push

Every mountain climb has its challenges, but the hardest part is usually the push to the summit. It's usually the steepest, but its also hard because you're already tired from the rest of the climb.

My family and I have been climbing one of our biggest mountains yet, and I believe we're now starting our push to the summit. The cancer is taking over in my mom. The pain is becoming greater and we scramble to find the right drugs to keep her out of pain.

As we begin this last push we all gather together, for we won't make it alone. We climb, one foot in front of the other. When we become too weary, "the handcart pushes us", as angels help us to the top. For my mom this is her last summit, at least in this life. The rest of us will have more mountains to climb, but for now, this is our Everest. I know we will make it because that is what our mom taught us to do. When we reach the summit with the beautiful view below will it have been worth it? I say yes. Yes if we can climb with courage and grace, able to say that we came closer to God in the process.

"Shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, and on, on to the victory!" D&C 128:22

The Attack

I don't know about the rest of you, but I could definitely use some more humor in my life. For this reason, I'll share my unfortunate incident with you.

Our back yard neighbors have a horse and chickens. They've had some bad health, so we've been feeding their animals for them. Most of you know that I am not an animal person. I feed the animals with the smallest amount of interaction possible.

Well, the chickens have been out of food for a couple of days. Don't worry all you animal lovers, they'll have more food tonight. This morning when I got to the chicken coop I noticed that they all seemed bunched up around the door more than usual. Oh well, I thought, they're just chickens. What can they do? Big mistake. Obviously I don't have a lot of chicken experience. So I opened the door to get the water buckets to fill them up. When I reached in the big black, scary looking rooster attacked me. He flew up at me and pecked at me. Luckily I was wearing my big puffy coat and leather work gloves, so the damage was minimal. I screamed of course, and having not dealt with chickens before my first instinct was to kick it and teach it that I cannot be pecked at. That works for dogs so why would chickens be any different (not that I've ever kicked a dog:). Well, just an FYI, don't kick chickens. Or maybe you can kick chickens, but definitely not roosters. It started attacking me. More flapping wings, more pecking. I kicked back a couple of times and then I realized that I was at a definite disadvantage and started retreating. The rooster chased me all the way to the end of the barn before it decided I was no longer a threat and left. I finally calmed down and stopped screaming just in time to look over and see the rest of the chickens escaping the coop. Blasted chickens. Do you think they had this planned? The great chicken escape. Needless to say, I wasn't about to get them back in the coop. So they will enjoy a day of freedom until Jake gets to them (supposedly they'll re-enter the coop at night).

Moral of the story: keep chickens well fed and if one attacks you DO NOT fight back. Play dead.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was good. Not as relaxing as in years past, but good all the same. I got to make thanksgiving dinner with my Aunt Barbra. Good thing she was there or I probably would have had a panic attack. I was in the kitchen all of Weds. afternoon and Thursday morning. Jake kept watching me go crazy and shaking his head as to why I would put myself through all of that. Right now I'm not sure it was worth it. That food I spent hours slaving over sure disappeared quickly. But I'll probably be ready to do it again by next year. I am proud of myself for pulling it off. The only minor problem was that the turkey had to cook 30 minutes longer than we planned, but other than that everything was perfect. My mom was there in the background giving much needed advice and saving the gravy.

On Friday we headed to Boise for my grandma's 80th birthday party. 80 years is a long time. I hope I look like she does if I live to be 80. My cousin Jen was super nice and let us all ride her horse. The kids even got on and seemed to enjoy it. They know what they're doing on a horse more than I do.

All in all, a good weekend. I'm grateful for all of the good memories I can get right now. They keep you going when times get tough.

Onward and Upward

William Palmer talking about the Martin handcart company:

"We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism?...We came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities.

"I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it... I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there.

"Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay."

I love this quote. I could never phrase it better than that. The angels are with us. Onward and upward.

Tender Mercies

This is truly a time and a season of thanksgiving. I didn't think I'd feel that way this year. You shouldn't be able to when your mom has terminal cancer. But I'm definitely feeling grateful today. My mom had her stomach scoped today. Honestly, I was expecting bad news. O ye of little faith. Her stomach looks no different than it did in June, almost 6 months ago. That is amazing. That is unheard of. The doctor said he was surprised that she was still around and even more surprised at how good she looks.

I think of the holidays last year and remember how we were in mourning. Mourning for a lost sister and mourning for the future loss of our mom. This year the holidays seem to be ones of rejoicing and gratitude. Is my mom cured? No. Is she going to stay this well forever? No. But it is truly a miracle that she is doing so well. I will be forever grateful for the time we've been given with her. When I hoped for time before I thought it would be time with a sick mom and trying to take care of her. Instead, she continues to do more in a day than I do. How is that possible? One answer. Only through the tender mercies and miracles of the Lord. So rather than spend this holiday season in mourning, I choose to rejoice, and hope to spend the holidays next year in continued awe over the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father.

Halloween Fun

We made it through another Halloween. I must be honest and say that this is not my favorite holiday. Just call me the Halloween Scrooge. I do like seeing the kids excited and dressed up. But that's about it. I must admit that I'm probably feeling even more like this than normal because I spent the night awake with Zack while he threw up. Super fun. Now I'm waiting for it to hit Kate and praying it doesn't hit Sage. Anyway, despite their scrooge mom, you can see that my kids did get dressed up and have fun:)

Fall Colors

The leaves were soooo pretty this year. Bright red and yellow. These pictures definitely don't do it justice. It was also a little smokey that day so some of the colors didn't show up quite as bright. I would like to point out that this is what it looked like about five minutes from my house. Feel free to move here. We'll never move back to the other side if we can help it:)