I title this post as such to strengthen my faith. I know this is true, and as a family we've seen many blessings, but that doesn't mean it isn't still hard. We have definitely been blessed in the midst of our trial. The acts of kindness from family and friends are pushing us through this experience. A big thank you to all of you for your kind words and gestures. They truly mean a lot.
The funeral was wonderful (if you can use such a word to describe a funeral). It felt like we were surrounded by angels. A local newspaper wrote a pretty good article summarizing the funeral if you want to take a look.
So now I'm back home doing normal things, but life isn't normal. It's different. I'm not quite sure how to go about my every day tasks with a hole in my heart. I suppose I just plug along in hopes that some day it will get better. I know it will. Knowing that Linz is happy is a huge comfort. Knowing that she wants me to be happy pushes me forward. So I'll keep plugging along up this mountain in hopes that I can someday reach the summit and enjoy the view with Linz.
Lindsey's the second one in on the left.
I got one of those calls last night that everyone dreads. My sister Lindsey has been serving in the England, Birmingham mission. Early this morning she went running with her companion and collapsed. Her companion did CPR, but it didn't work. My sister passed away.
I feel like my heart is broken in a million pieces. I thought maybe writing about her would help.
Lindsey was honestly and truly one of the greatest people I've ever known. I keep thinking I'm grateful we had her for as long as we did, but why did He have to take her so soon? She's one of those people who made everyone feel important. I'm sure everyone who knew her felt like her best friend. She had a love for life that was contagious. She was always happy and always willing to serve. She seemed to always befriend those who other people didn't like as much. People were just drawn to her.
Lindsey was my outdoor adventure partner. She was a natural athlete and loved to be outside camping, hiking, snowboarding, etc. I was so looking forward to doing all of that with her when she got home. I know the first time we go out on our boat this year I'll cry because she loved doing that with us. She hasn't been on her mission that long, but I was already counting down to when I could do that with her again.
I'm so grateful for the memories we made together and so sad for the ones we lost. Just having her on a mission has been hard on our family as she has left a big hole. I think God sent her on a mission so that we would be a little used to her being gone. I'm grateful that she died doing what she loved. She was such a good missionary. I know she still is. I can't imagine going through this without the gospel and the knowledge that we'll see her again. Now I need to live better so I can be where I know she is. I keep thinking that the one thing she would love for us to do in her honor is share the gospel. So that's my invitation to all of you. In memory and honor of my sister, talk to someone about what you believe. Tell your friends how it is we can keep functioning when things like this happen. Tell them about the Savior and his plan of salvation.
For those of you who don't know, I just took a position as an RN at the Heber Valley hospital. I was just kind of looking at available nursing jobs one day and saw this one. I only have to work one shift a week and it's really good money. I don't want to leave the kids even one day a week because it's just hard on them (these are 12 hour shifts), but I thought if I did night shifts then they wouldn't really even know I was gone.
This month has been crazy with all of the training. They're making me train two shifts/week during the day for a month. My poor kids have had to deal with a lot the last couple of weeks. I would never keep doing it if it was always this way, but I just keep looking ahead to May when I start just doing one shift/week.
So, Tuesday was my first night shift in like six years. The concept of working nights so I can be home with my kids is great, but I had no idea if I would really be able to handle it. Since I got married I haven't been to bed after 11:00. Jake goes to bed early, so I do too. So the idea of staying awake all night was a big change. I managed to sleep for a couple of hours Tuesday afternoon (Kate slept and Zack watched Dora), got the kids fed, and then headed in to work. It actually went pretty well. I was tired, but not so much that I couldn't function. When I got home I was feeling pretty good so I took care of the kids, cleaned the floor, and jumped in the shower so I could take the kids to story time at the library. I was doing great until I sat down at the library, then I started to die. So as soon as we got home I took a quick hour nap while the kids ran around crazy and then I was good to go.
The moral of this long story is that I think I'll be able to handle night shifts. I'm excited to get my brain working again and to be able to get a break from the kids without having to leave them with a babysitter. The extra spending money is also an added bonus. I'm definitely grateful for a degree that allows me to work such crazy hours and still be home with the kids.
I'm finally getting around to Easter. If I don't do it now it will never happen. Easter was good, somewhat crazy really. On Saturday we took the kids to the Heber city easter egg hunt. It was basically 30 minutes of chaos for 30 seconds of frenzied bliss. I'm sure you all know what I mean. At least the kids were happy with their candy.
Sunday was good, but not exactly what I was hoping for. The kids were both unusually unhappy that day. We stayed home, so of course I had to make a nice easter meal. It turned out well, but stressed me out more than I had hoped. I felt a bit like Martha (or is it Mary?). Next year we'll stick to hamburgers.
Church was good, but I was a little preoccupied. Zack has had long terms issues with diarrhea (skip over this if you don't want to hear more). Well, right during the sacrament, when it was really quiet, he filled his pants and did it quite loudly. Then, of course, he had to tell me that he pooed his pants, again, quite loudly. Luckily he was wearing a pull-up. I was so embarrassed that I seriously considered not returning to the chapel. Zack solved that decision for me when he pulled open the door and ran inside. I followed him and just tried not to make eye contact with anyone.
Anyway, the day ended well. Let's just say I learned what not to do this year. Here's to a lifetime of better easters!
It's been awhile since I wrote and even longer since I took pictures off the camera. So you'll have to humor me while I show you some pictures from the past few months.
These are some pictures of the crazy snow we had this winter. We went to our parents one weekend and came home to two feet of snow, no exaggeration. They actually canceled church because we got so much snow at once. Luckily our neighbors let us borrow their 4-wheeler or we never would have been able to clear our driveway. Zack had fun riding with Jake.
This is Nestle (our huge lab) trying to walk through the snow.
Jake and Nestle in front of the huge snow piles in our yard. Jake is 6'1", so you can see how much snow we had. Crazy! We still have snow covering most of the grass. I think it will be at least another month before it all melts. The kids and I would love to be able to go to the park some day soon.
Just some pictures of my cute kids! When Kate's hair isn't pulled back it gets a little crazy.
My handyman husband fixing the brakes on the Jeep. I love that he knows how to do things like that!
My kids love their Grandpa Spjute. My sister has been visiting from Japan and to celebrate her son's birthday they had a pirate party. My dad went all out. They had swords, hats, and eye patches. They went on a walk in search of bad guys and then came back to search for treasure. After the treasure hunt they came back and made "blood red pirate punch". Zack still says thanks for the pirate party in his prayers every night. They loved it!
Ok, this is the last picture, I promise. I'll try to keep up better so I don't have eternally long posts. Kate loves, loves, loves to swing as you can tell from this picture. We were in Provo where there isn't snow covering all of the parks, so we decided to stop at a park to let her swing. However, we made the mistake of choosing a park without swings. When we left Kate started screaming like we'd just cut her arm off or something. Silly girl!
I've been tagged by Amber, so here goes nothin'. The rules are, each player must post 6 facts/habits about themselves. At the end of the post, the player tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blog and leaves them a comment letting them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.
Here we go.
1. I love to run. If I go very long without running then I start to go crazy. It's a huge stress reliever for me. I ran through both of my pregnancies. I have a goal to do a marathon after each baby. So far so good, but it's definitely harder the more kids I have.
2. I don't have a creative bone in my body. My poor family. I've always really disliked doing anything like sewing, scrapbooking, etc. I think it's genetic because my mom said the first time she took me in a fabric store I started screaming and didn't stop until we left. So now I have a house that is barely decorated and I'm over YW camp. A calling that I think should never be given to the creatively challenged.
3. I have webbed toes on each foot. Jake and my siblings love to tease me about this to no end. I'm pretty sure I heard that Ashton Kutcher also has webbed toes, so they can't be that bad right? While we're on the subject of body parts....If you touch my belly button I double over in pain and want to puke. Strange I know. This amuses Jake to no end. He's now teaching the kids to touch my belly button.
4. I love to read. I'll read just about anything. I try to always be reading something non-fiction so my brain doesn't rot, but fiction is my top choice. I like mysteries and just about anything without bad content. Jake thinks I read too much and wants me to keep track of all of the books I read in a year. Whatever.
5. I remember numbers really well. You generally only have to tell me your phone number or birthday once and I'll remember it. Wish I could remember important things...I also have a thing for 5's and 0's on a clock. When I set my alarm I never set it for a 5 or 10, always for something in between. I just like to use numbers that aren't so commonly used.
6. A goal that I've had forever is to fly in a jet. You know, one of those air force jets that spin all over the place. I've been told that unless you marry someone in the airforce that will never happen, but I refuse to give up hope. So if any of you can help me with this, feel free.
Well, I hope you'll all still be my friends now that you know how crazy I am. Might as well lay it all out, right? I tag Tams, Christina, and Sherstine. Humor me girls!
