Onward and Upward

William Palmer talking about the Martin handcart company:

"We suffered beyond anything you can imagine and many died of exposure and starvation, but did you ever hear a survivor of that company utter a word of criticism?...We came through with the absolute knowledge that God lives for we became acquainted with him in our extremities.

"I have pulled my handcart when I was so weak and weary from illness and lack of food that I could hardly put one foot ahead of the other. I have looked ahead and seen a patch of sand or a hill slope and I have said, I can go only that far and there I must give up, for I cannot pull the load through it... I have gone on to that sand and when I reached it, the cart began pushing me. I have looked back many times to see who was pushing my cart, but my eyes saw no one. I knew then that the angels of God were there.

"Was I sorry that I chose to come by handcart? No. Neither then nor any minute of my life since. The price we paid to become acquainted with God was a privilege to pay."

I love this quote. I could never phrase it better than that. The angels are with us. Onward and upward.

Tender Mercies

This is truly a time and a season of thanksgiving. I didn't think I'd feel that way this year. You shouldn't be able to when your mom has terminal cancer. But I'm definitely feeling grateful today. My mom had her stomach scoped today. Honestly, I was expecting bad news. O ye of little faith. Her stomach looks no different than it did in June, almost 6 months ago. That is amazing. That is unheard of. The doctor said he was surprised that she was still around and even more surprised at how good she looks.

I think of the holidays last year and remember how we were in mourning. Mourning for a lost sister and mourning for the future loss of our mom. This year the holidays seem to be ones of rejoicing and gratitude. Is my mom cured? No. Is she going to stay this well forever? No. But it is truly a miracle that she is doing so well. I will be forever grateful for the time we've been given with her. When I hoped for time before I thought it would be time with a sick mom and trying to take care of her. Instead, she continues to do more in a day than I do. How is that possible? One answer. Only through the tender mercies and miracles of the Lord. So rather than spend this holiday season in mourning, I choose to rejoice, and hope to spend the holidays next year in continued awe over the tender mercies of a loving Heavenly Father.

Halloween Fun

We made it through another Halloween. I must be honest and say that this is not my favorite holiday. Just call me the Halloween Scrooge. I do like seeing the kids excited and dressed up. But that's about it. I must admit that I'm probably feeling even more like this than normal because I spent the night awake with Zack while he threw up. Super fun. Now I'm waiting for it to hit Kate and praying it doesn't hit Sage. Anyway, despite their scrooge mom, you can see that my kids did get dressed up and have fun:)