She Remembers

One of the things I hate most about Linz and Mom being gone is that my kids don't really remember them.  They were so little when everything happened that their memories of them are limited.  So it makes me really happy when they say or do things that show that they really do remember.

Yesterday Kate brought home her writing journal she's been using all year.  I was flipping through it and came to this page:

I know you can't really read this, so let me translate.  The top of the page says, "Think of someone who has made an impact on your life.  What makes them so special?"  Then it says, "Who is your inspiration or who has made an impact on your life?"  Kate wrote, "Grandma".  I asked her which grandma and she said Grandma Lou (that's what we call my mom).

In the three stars below she listed reasons why she thinks this person is special.  She wrote, "she taught me how to read, she believed that I could read, and because she likes to play with me."  The back of the page says, "Give one example of a memory with this person."  She drew a picture of my mom reading to her.

This just makes me happy.  Kate and my mom did have a sweet relationship.  I just love that when Kate had to choose someone who's made an impact on her life she chose my mom, even though Kate was only three when she passed away.  I love, love, love that my mom is still impacting my kids lives.  Love it.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

The Medal.  I wore it all day yesterday (just kidding)

This has become my motto of late.  I really do believe it, even though I don't like it sometimes.  I kept this running through my head yesterday while I ran the Ogden Marathon.  I trained harder for it than I have for any of my other marathons because I wanted to qualify for Boston.  I've been feeling super strong and thought I was ready for the race of my life.  Well, it didn't happen.  The Ogden Marathon chewed me up and spit me out...again.  I've only taken over four hours on one other marathon, and it was the Ogden.  Apparently it is not the marathon for me.  Ogden Marathon two, Laura zero.  Point taken.  I admit defeat and officially declare that I won't be running the Ogden Marathon again.  So there.

What happened?  Well, I can only speculate but I do have my theories.  I know you're dying to hear.  First, the weather.  Oh the weather.  The week before the marathon they sent out an email saying it looked like it was going to be really hot for the race, so practice running in the heat.  Well, they were wrong.  Oh so wrong.  It wasn't hot, which if you have Spjute genes that's a good thing.  But it rained.  A lot.  The whole time.  I've never been so wet and cold in my entire life.  Ever.  In my whole thirty-five years.  For reals.  Have I made myself clear?  IT WAS COLD!!!  I could barely open my gels because my hands were so cold.  Props to the volunteers for helping even though it was dumping rain.  I was impressed.  My clothes were so wet I was probably carrying an extra five pounds of water.  I think every runner was probably in the early stages of hypothermia.  I started shivering on the way home and didn't stop until I climbed in the tub.  So cold.

I would love to blame my awful performance solely on the weather, which is out of my control.  But if I'm really being honest I have to admit that I hold some blame.  Let's put it out there that sometimes you just have a bad race.  No matter what you do, how ready you are, sometimes it just happens.  But in analyzing and trying to learn from the race so that something good might possibly come, this is what I've decided.  I went out too fast.  I know, millions of runners say this.  I know this can be a problem, so I was watching my pace.  But in hindsight (20/20 I know) I think I should have held back even more.  Miles 8-15 have quite a few hills.  I should have gone a lot slower and tried to make up the difference on the downhill in the canyon.  And that's all I have to say about that.  What's done is done, whether I like it or not (and I don't).

So there you go, my awesome race in a nutshell.  When did I finish?  A spectacular 4:08.  I know, I know.  Just running a marathon is an accomplishment.  And I'm happy I finished.  But I've finished marathons before.  This time I wanted to finish fast (well, fast for me).  It just wasn't to be.  Wasn't in the stars.  A bad race.  An off day.  Crappy weather.  Any excuse that takes the blame off of me is acceptable really.  In the midst of my pain yesterday (because it was painful) I vowed to never run again.  Really.  I've never thought that before, that's how much pain I was in.  Now, in the light of a new day, I think, "Am I a quitter?"  "No!"  "Am I going to give up on Boston?"  "No!"  So that's why I'm already planning my next marathon in September.  The Big Cottonwood Marathon.  Its pretty much all downhill, so I've at least learned my lesson there.  I'm sure you're wondering why in the world I would put myself through this pain again.  I can't explain it, but if you've done marathons or anything like it you understand.  There's just something about crossing the finish line of a marathon.  Agonizing and wonderful all at the same time.  And I just can't stand to stop marathoning on such a bad note.  Unacceptable really.  So I guess I'll give it a shot again.  Boston or bust right?

PS - I have not a single picture of myself running yesterday.  And I am totally happy with that.  Thrilled really.  I'm sure I looked even worse than a wet dog.  Ugh.  On a side note...Jake said there were some girls who crossed the finish line with mascara all over their faces.  Really?  You wake up at o-dark-hundred to put makeup on?  Before a marathon?  Well, (and I say this with all the love in my heart) you deserve to finish with mascara all over your face.  Seriously.  If any of you are offended by this, just remember that Jake seeing these mascara-covered girls means they finished before me.  Maybe that was my problem...no makeup.

Zack is the Man

Getting ready to start - ok, so there wasn't a lot of competition - we take what we can get

Getting ready to launch

I have amazing camera skills

Proud Zack with his rocket

Zack isn't into team sports, and I'm down with that.  Jake and I are both more solo sport kind of people...antisocial to the core I guess.  Anyhow, during the winter Zack loved skiing, and now that summer's here he's really digging mountain biking.  I love it.  Last night was a kids mountain bike race (yes, these are the kinds of things we do in Midway...we're cool, I know).  Zack was so excited to ride his bike.  You could do one, two, or three laps.  Zack did three.

Quick side note:  Kate also raced - on her Walmart bike with no gears.  She was supposed to do two laps, but was happy to stop after one.  She doesn't have a competitive bone in her body, but she is one determined girl.

Back to Zack...He won the race, by a lot.  I was proud, but he was even more proud.  He's been telling everyone that he won.  He insists that he wasn't trying to win, but there was a definite competitive look in his eye while he was racing.  I've never seen that on him before, so it made me happy.  Good times mountain biking.  Yet another thing that my kids will be better at than I am.

Today at school Zack got to launch his rocket.  He's worked hard all year to be able to do this and was super excited.  These little rockets shoot up really high.  Zack painted his rocket orange, his favorite color.  Good times for Zack.  He is, most definitely, The Man.

Five Years

Love this picture - typical Linz

Linz and Kate - camping in northern Idaho

Five years today since Linz has been gone.  In some ways it seems like forever has gone by, in some ways it seems like yesterday.  I hate that its been so long since I laughed with her, played with her, and just talked with her.  Lame.  Super lame.

So Linz, today I'm going to play with my kids more, make the most of every second of the day, and talk to my kids about how cool their Aunt Linz is.  IS, not was.  And next week when I'm dying in the heat during the Ogden Marathon, I'll think of you and when we ran it together.  I think there's a good chance you might even be running it with me.  If so, feel free to push me along:)

My aunt posted a couple of blurbs from Linz's missionary letters.  I thought I'd include them here because it was fun to read something she wrote again.  Enjoy.

Love you Linz!!

March 4, 2008

when patience is tried

and your ready to explode inside when every remark

comes out like a bark

just take a nap linzy-loo

then you'll know what to do

then all the days of gray

will turn to brightest day

 Date: Tue, 11 Dec 2007 12:18:41 +0000

The miracles and Spirit of Christmas on in full force this season in Stroud and I continually fall to my knees in gratitude for the blessing of being here and witnessing them. President Hinckley said about England "If you don't like the weather, wait 30 seconds" It is all too true. I dress extra warm on the days where there is frost on the ground and when we freeze during exercising in the morning--and by the time we get going it is warm outside and I'm hot. We're more grateful for the cloudy days as they keep the warmth over Stroud like a big blanket. 

 

I received the package today with all the goods--you will never know how grateful and happy s. turpin and I were when we put in the Christmas CD. We were dancing around with ridiculous smiles and cheering Christmas is finally here!! We found an old tree behind the couch and set it up, it's about 5 feet tall and there were some decorations to put on it as well. Turpin's aunt sent her a bunch of little presents which we put under the tree so we have a grand old time in the flat, opening on present a day. So far thanks to great Aunt Barbara I've received band-aids, deodorant, and jello. Fabulous. Thank you thank you for the stories and all the neat stuff. I feel so blessed and grateful for a supportive family and I will use all of those stories I'm sure. 

Mom- I know you've always stressed about the fact that I walk like a linebacker--I've found the solution. Tights that are too small. Yup, it works well. I put them on and they feel alright, then I get out tracting and within 5 minutes they have fallen snug around my knees and I'm forced to waddle like a penguin all day. Very ingenius aye? This seriously happened and I will make sure it never happens again. :)

I don't even know where to start with the work things have been quickly moving into motion...

Last Wednesday night S.turpin and I both woke up at the same time unknowingly that we both woke up at the same time, we both felt the strongest urge to pray. You can understand how important this must be if the Lord was able to wake me up from my deep slumbers. I remember seeing a soft but bright flash of light waking me up and then I felt so powerfully that I needed to pray. It wasn't until later the next day that both of us realized that we both had the same experience. We then found out later that one of our investigators friends had commited suicide that same night and well... I cannot doubt the power of prayer and the effect it has on others. Your prayers on mine and the people of Stroud's behalf do not go unheard, nor unanswered. 

 

You wouldn't believe the 180 Martin has turned, I don't believe it myself. We had basically given up on him but the Lord did not, and strongly prompted us to return to him. Although he still struggles with drink and smoke, he has prayed to know about the Book of Mormon and the church and has had a very powerful experience. This young man who has only ever seen drugs, drink, depression, and hate is beginning to feel the love that Heavenly Father has for him. He goes to court today to determine whether or not he spends Christmas in prison. I'm not sure what to hope for.

Ian is from a similar walk of life with drugs, divorce, and the lowest of self esteem we are beginning to witness the light of Christ shine forth within him and when he smiles--oh how it fills even the hardest of hearts with joy. We continually try to commit him to baptism but he feels like he doesn't know enough, that it is a big step to make and he wants to make sure he does it right, which is commendable, but we so badly want to have him experience the joy of baptism and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost. The members have done so much for these two investigators. i'm so amazed at their willingness to help. They have something call missionary 7:15. At 7:15 am every member of the ward is supposed to pray that they can have a missionary experience. I believe we are benefiting from the fruits of their faith.

One of the most dreadful weather days I've experienced with strong winds and buckets of rain was one of my most memorable nights thus far. We were tracting and caroling at peoples door (anything to get them to listen) and just at the moment when our bodies and hearts were soaked and it was about time to go we met Matthew. He's in his 20's. He quickly invited us in (which we couldn't go in because there was no other female) but he readily accepted the BoM and was eager to hear more. We came back the next day with a member, so excited to see him but his roommate answered the door. He too was interested in what we had to say, Matt wasn't home, but he let us in and he was asking so many questions. He is so intelligent and I felt like we were meeting with a stake president. He's also in his twenties and just graduated from uni. in engineering and moved here with his job. He's been looking for a religion, he's been raised by a very good family, he prays every day, he knows he can get anything out of life if he puts his mind to it. He doesn't know many people here so he's excited to meet with us again.....anyway. s. turpin and I left there completely speechless. what? what? i just kept saying it to myself over and over. what just happened here? 

Kevin--our petrol station friend came to church for the 2nd time. which means we had 3 members at church this Sunday. Unheard of in Stroud. We can't seem to get an apt. with him though, he's a bit dodgy but we'll get em! 

 

Miracles are all around us and in abundance.

This truly is the Lord's work. If there is any success it is because he has prepared the hearts of these people and with the help of members and a lot of faith, we are fortunate to find some of them. Pres. moffat talked about how it's not the missionary or the area that determines success, it's the attitude. I believe that. 

 

I feel so blessed to take part in this work. May you all pray for more missionary experience so you can also feast on the joy that comes from witnessing the miracles.

I love you all!
cheers
SISTER SPJUTE

Success!!

Waiting to pick up free horse manure for our garden - again, W.T.

Hangin' with Tiny just off the road - we are awesome

We went camping this weekend.  Friday night.  We didn't decide we were going until after 5:00pm on Friday.  Jake didn't pull in with the trailer until almost 6:00pm.  We were on our way at 6:30.  Yes!!  Tiny is a success!!  This is a huge reason I pushed so hard to get a trailer.  There are lots of weekends where we only have time to camp for a night.  So not worth it if you have to load all your gear every time and pitch a tent once you get there.  Totally worth it when you have a trailer and everything's all ready to go.  Can you say awesome?!!

So we went camping.  We drove twenty minutes from our house and pulled off the side of the road.  Literally.  Can you say white trash?  In our defense there was like no traffic on that road.  But still....W.T.  Anyway, we ate pizza, had a camp fire, made s'mores, slept in our nice trailer, shot the pellet gun, and made it home with plenty of time to do some major yard work.  That's what I'm talkin' about.  Tiny is amazing....  That is all.