Celebrate?!!

We are approaching what is now becoming my least favorite time of year. Sunday is Mother's Day, Monday is the two year mark of Linz's passing, and Friday would be my mom's 55th birthday. All of those days, all together at once. I want to curl up in a ball with some chocolate and feel sad for two wonderful people who I miss a lot. But I'm trying hard not to do that. I did allow myself one pity act, and that is volunteering to work all day on Mother's Day. I just didn't think I could take the whole happy moms at church thing this year. So I will gladly be at work and maybe Jake will have some chocolate for me when I get home (hint hint).

In memory, I'd like to share a bit of what I miss most of Linz and Mom.




Linz was the greatest. Everyone's best friend, for reals. She was so much fun to be around. I was so excited for her to come home from the mish to play with me. She was the one who loved playing outside as much as I do. I miss all the fun we would have had hiking, camping, climbing, boating, and anything else fun. I miss watching my kids play with the most fun aunt ever. I miss the fun and laughter she brought to every gathering. I just miss her. A lot.



Mom. Where to even begin? The numbness is wearing off and sometimes I miss her so much I gasp from the pain. I would give anything to talk to her one more time. Hear her voice, feel her understanding, listen to her advice, and feel her love. What I wouldn't give. I hate that when my kids talk about grandma now there's only one. I hate that Sage will never know her namesake. I miss her goodness, her laughter, her service. I miss being able to pick up the phone and tell her when something wonderful has happened and I miss being able to pick up the phone and cry to her when something awful happened. My new life goal is to live every day in a way that would make my mom happy. If I can somehow figure that out then I will live a great life. Because of my mom.

In case Mom and Linz are reading this from heaven: Thanks for the help and influence you continue to have on me and my family. I've felt you both close many times. Its comforting to know you're both up there pulling for us. I love you both! Happy Mother's Day Mom!!